You are not Ready…
You are not ready to have that necessary but difficult conversation with an employee if …. you haven’t made THE CHECKLIST.
You are not ready… if you haven’t considered your office ENVIRONMENT.
You are not ready …if this task has been on your mind for days and you’ve done nothing about it. Your procrastination is probably about your DISCOMFORT - not theirs.
And you are not ready to deliver this difficult feedback if you haven’t released your EMOTIONS beforehand.
How do you prepare? Just like any other plan you have developed and executed as a leader, you practice and research and know the outcome of this conversation before it happens. Giving feedback is a skill. Delivering difficult or hard feedback is one of the most important skills to have if you are leading teams. What you say and how you say it can stay with your employee forever, and I’ve got news for you – they will APPRECIATE the fact that you care enough, and are invested enough in them and their success that you are having this hard conversation with them.
The checklist: Effective leaders make a checklist of all the good things the employee has done and starts there. The difficult feedback you are about to deliver, is about the behavior. Run through the positive attribute checklist first and mean it. An employee hearing it will feel safe, more at ease, and ready to take in the difficult feedback that’s coming. You’ve laid the groundwork of trust.
The environment: Effective leaders consider how the environment will play a role in this difficult conversation. If you are talking from behind your big office desk, you are coming at it from your power position. The power you are wielding is not lost on the employee. Consider shifting to private room with no desk, just chairs. Consider coming out from behind that desk and sitting beside the employee. Doing so will convey an openness for dialogue.
Procrastination: If you are more fearful about how this difficult conversation will make YOU feel, you need to ask yourself why you wanted to be a leader in the first place.
Emotions: Scream in the car, yell at the moon, workout like crazy the day before – do whatever it takes to release your emotions surrounding this conversation. Anger, frustration, fear, or sadness – you need to release it all and deliver feedback in a calm, thoughtful, steady way. Delivering it with anger or frustration will only ignite the same reaction in your employee and they will shut down. They will not hear you and learn what’s needed to improve.
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